STFU PETA! -or- Plants are people too!

“PETA wishes Obama hadn't swatted that fly”

[Squeezes bridge of nose, takes a deep breath of life and blows it back out again.]

“PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.”

[Feels reality slipping away, and not in a good way.>]

You have to be kidding me. This can’t be real…has to be April 1st again and the time here in Jamaica has just FLOWN past.

[Checks date on computer; covers face with palm, since it is in fact June 18, 2009 and not All Fools Day.]

Nope it’s real; there are people in the world this insane.

Anybody who knows me will agree that I am a fan of animals. I am a bit of a Dr. Doolittle in fact and have petted cats and dogs that others swear are either too shy or too ornery to be handled by anybody other than their owners. I adopted a greyhound and crusaded for greyhound rights when I heard how terribly they were treated.

I’m not a vegetarian, I eat meat, but I agree that the animals don’t need to suffer while they are alive and can be killed in ways that do not give, (or prolong) suffering…I’m cool with that; good Karma.

I don’t begrudge those who chose to live free from an animal based diet. I applaud those who do so for reasons of health, and even those who, (un-judging of others) do so because they do not wish to cause the death of animals.

But this is too much. No really; shut the flying fuck up PETA and get a grip on the insanity you are spewing out these days! You’ve gone from being a viable group of people looking to help find rational rights for animals to a flat out psycho ward full of dangerous and delusional morons.

I’ve long held that those who do judge others on eating meat are wrong in their beliefs; sorry but everything that isn’t dead on this planet is ALIVE folks…EVERYBODY MUST KILL SOMETHING TO LIVE; period. Shut up; you’re wrong…it’s a fact. Plants are living things and you kill them to eat them and thus live yourself.

Plants give us the very thing of life that all other things on our planet need to survive; oxygen. Last I checked, you can’t live more than about five minutes without breathing, but you can most likely live a good long time with a few less flies on the planet.

(Notice please that I said a few less flies; other than a recent interest in the genocide of mosquitoes, I don’t advocate killing off an entire species of anything on our glorious globe.)

I get the concept that a carrot isn’t as cute as a cow and I’d rather have a pet puppy than potato, but when you start telling me that a fig has less of a right to life than a fly, A SHIT EATING, DISEASE CARRYING FLY…it’s time for you to go. If a life is a life and all should be saved from death by digestion, then we should kill nothing to live and it's time for us ALL to starve to death; better that than become like PETA.

There are plenty of animals (and plants by the way) that need our help just to survive; flies will be here long after we are gone from this place. They will buzz around our corpses and plan families in our gray dead eyes no matter how many we swat during our lifetimes, flies are the lords in the end.

So take a few deep breaths to regain your sanity PETA; consider the (now dead) cumquat your about to swallow and suggest a Venus Flytrap to our President; it's the oval office of life.